What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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