Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
