bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
