the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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