There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
