just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
