I skipped work to stalk him.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
