i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
