If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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