She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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