I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
