Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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