Small penises have feelings too.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
