real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
