I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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