Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
