Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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