woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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