I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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