So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
