im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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