Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
