Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
