How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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