Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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