Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize