you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize