i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
