I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
