their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize