one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
