One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
