did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
