you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
