one word: firstdatebathroomanal
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
