And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
