my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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