I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize