Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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