We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
