I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
