I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
