we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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