It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
