you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
