there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
