You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize