He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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