thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
