Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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