he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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