There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
