everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
