I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
