Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
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