Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
