i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
