omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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