I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
