Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
