In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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