dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
