No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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