all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
