I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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