some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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