Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
