Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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