He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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